Friday, April 24, 2009

The parentals make their mark on America!!!

I've been rather idol for the past week on the twit and faceache front! Because on the 17th April, the parentals landed in America! After working the 7-3, I hopped on a train down to Chicago and met them at their hotel on Magnificent Mile. It was a very warm sunny day and we decided to go quickly run up the hancock for the coctails and the view, and then off to Irish bar for a few drinks. As soon as we got in the irish bar, first drink, I make a gesture with my hand and knock my pint of sams onto the floor and smashes. glass and beer go everywhere! I sighed. This is a daily occurance for me, but after seeing your parents for the first time in 6 months its not the first impression you want to make on them. No America has not turned me into an idiot... I just always was.

So after a couple more drinks we made our way back to the hotel, i hid myself from the staff, not because i didn't want to see them, but more for the fact that i looked like I'd pissed myself.

The next morning, we started bright and early and we headed for a traditional american breakfast and then off to Navy Pier, where we went on a speed boat to see the skyline, drank lots of coffee (not on the boat that would be dangerous) followed by a quick run to millenium park and up the sears, before they could ruin my parents dreams and change the name to willis tower!

That evening we went in search of British/Irish ale for my dad, would you believe we found Boddingtons in a little Irish bar in the centre, however we paid a price for our beloved imported beer... $8 a pint! madness.

Our final day was spent at the museum of science and industry where we learnt about all sorts so we did. Me and dad went on this simulator ride, where they told us the ride goes upside-down. My dad laughed and was rather cockey and said ''of course it does'' and we were amused when they were strapping us in so tightly looking at this regular simulator machine and its emergency stop button for naucious riders. How soft must they be?

The simulator began... and OH MY GOD ! IT REALLY DID GO UPSIDE DOWN! and the worst thing was we were in control, it was scary as hell! I'm glad I wasn't with Sandra, she would have just broken the machine and we'd of been stuck upside down.

We then jumped on the train up to sunny schaumburg, and to be honest, theres not a lot to do in this remote subarb. My dad disapointed no one had said 'Have a nice day'
yet, nor had he seen one cow boy hat, was soon cheered up by Panera Bread... the best bakery restaurant in America, which soon became their regular place for lunches and coffee, because starbucks dont make 'real' coffee apparantly.

The plan was to rent a car seeing Schaumburg is so behind the times that public transportation is beyond their imaginations. After running all the way home, and all the way back (i live 2 miles away) to get my credit card and passport, and then walked another mile in the cold, wind and rain to the car rental place where they told us to rent a car for 3 days would be $250, not including insurance!!! I could of bloody bought the car for that! So we decided taxis was the best way, and instead of blowing all that money on a car, we thought we'd spend it on something more useful and lasting, and so i purchased my beautiful new apple mac lap top :)

So in the world of work this week, we had the President of Samsung himself stay, and I personally served him coffee. I'm afraid people I couldn't forward your technological complaints and questions, such as why your camera doesnt work on your apple mac or why your phone battery is so crap, because I wasn't allowed :( And lets face it we would quite like his repeat business.

We're also expecting the ministry of defence for Israel is coming in soon... just a note to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad incase your reading (you never know) thats not all of the israel ministry of defence! They aint let their guard down so don't go poking your facist nose in there! I know your game!

Well... my parents left today after an amazing week catching up, and it was sad to see them go, but its only 13 weeks until I land on British soil, back to sunny Preston, which I'm pleased to hear is the least robbed place in Britain now. In all fairness what the hell would they steal? Although its nice to not have that worry, one thing off my mind, and now I cant focus all my worrying on just getting stabbed :)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

losing my lap top, home and organs!!

I'm writing this this weeks update via my ipod touch due to being a homeless bum with no lap top. Where do I EVEN begin???

So Wednesday 8th April begins. I awake, roll over and pick up my lap top and switch on. At this point I realize the ink has run down all over my screen and its completly cracked beneeeth. There was just nothing left. How this has occurred I do not know, but the lap top was dieing anyway. So I sighed and looked into buy a mac, because everyone I know who has had one has owned them for decades and they still work. One of my ex's threw one out of his bedroom window and it didnt even have a scratch on it and worked perfectly well. Along with my long line of apple products these days I decide its the best to purchase one these amazing indestructable inventions.

Later that day I was due to meet with my roommates and my landlord to discuss extending the lease. It was 6pm and my roommate hadn't returned home, and the doorbell rang and it was my landlord. Me and Jake tried calling Steve countless times but he wouldn't pick up. In the mean time I had the landlords 5 year old girl tell me how she used to live in the house and how they wanted to move back here as 'mummy and daddy fight a lot in the new house'' and how she had her own room in this house. Talk about akward. She then made me guess her favorite Disney character, she looked confused and nearly had a fit when I guessed snow white and the cartoon characters from my days as a child. Eventually she got annoyed and told me she liked Hannah Montannah, (whoever that is), who turns out to not even be a cartoon character??? She's some 16 year old spoilt slutty pop star who has lots of cash and can have anything she wants. What wonderful examples of society we show our kids these days.

Anyway my landlord tells us he's moving his family back in, and with no sign of Steve, he leaves. Jake eventually gets hold of Steve and informs me that Steve is in PRISON!!!!! Apparantly he's missed a gazillion court dates, continued to drive without insurance or a liscence and owes $10,000 to the state in fines and tickets.

So what a wonderful day it turned out to be. But for some reason, it didn't phase me, any of it. I just shrugged it off and thought ''it'll be ok'', I quite like the fact that very little seems to phase me. However then I switched on Marley and Me and weeped like a BITCH when that stupid dog dies at the end. I don't even like dogs?? Why am I caring more about this stupid animal than my living situation?? *sigh*

So now I have to sort out my living situation which looks like the hotel. Hopefully if I can stay to the end of the lease end of May I can take my colleagues Sandra's old room in the hotel. I'll be helping them out with occupancy and bringing money to the hotel so its all good, and will only be there for 8 weeks before I fly home! I can't believe its only 15 weeks until I fly home to sunny England!! Get the parties starting!!!

I also need to get back to rock clubs as soon as I'm home. I'm currently enjoying the sounds of Britney Spears and Beyonce. This is terrible. I need some grunge and rock back into my life before its too late. Need to get back to my roots. Its funny how I'm more worried about fictional dead dogs and my declinging music taste than my laptop and homelessness. meh.

My parents come out on Friday, we're having a lovely weekend in Chicago and then the rest of the week in sunny Schaumburg with a possible trip to Wisconsin. I'm renting a car and showing them the sites, so brace yourself America, David is on the road!!!!

I've finished Twilight and all ready to read the next one. I'm sending Twilight home with my mum to read, but I'm so worried she may leave my dad after reading it. You see Edward Cullen is the msot perfect man in the entire world than no man will match up to him after that. I'm getting picky myself!! Just try to remember, he's fictional!!! He doesn't exsist. Believe me I've looked.

A lot of discussion seems to be about organ donation at the moment. It seems to be on the internet on tv and all around us. My personal belief is that when a person dies, they should automatically have the right to ownership of those organs stricken from them. You don't need them. They didn't make you as a person! There should at least be an opt out option rather than a sign up! But I believe its a selfish act that if once your dead you wont give up a life saving organ which is useless to you to give someone else a chance at a life.

I was shocked and appauled in October when I went to get my State of Illinois ID, the woman behind the counter asked me if I'd like to be a doner. I said of course! She looked at me like I'd just taken a piddle on the floor right in front of everyone. She asked ''are you sure?'', i said ''of course I'm sure, as long as I'm dead, they can take what the hell they want''. She then went onto tell me a story about how some doctors dont wait until your dead and if your a vegetable they just end your life. I explained I'd rather be dead and someone else have life than be a vegetable. She ended the the interview process by explaining that England could have my organs but she wasn't risking the US having them. I thoguht she was joking until I got my ID and noticed she hadn't said I wanted to be a doner. I was so mad. I sure hope its her begging for an organ one day. She certainly ain't getting mine now eh?

Anyways 2 months later I went to renew my ID and had a nicer woman ask me if I wanted to donate them. She completed my application and ticked the doner box and a month later I got a letter from Jesse White Secretary of State thanking me for my organs.

A friend and colleague of mine recently nearly lost her mother to a lung disease. She had her life saved by an organ transplant, and now you wouldn't even know she had ever been ill.

I ure every single one of you to sign up today to be a doner! (UK) (USA)

The great thing its charity which you don't have to pay up until your dead so its win win! I see it as a last ditch attempt to get into heaven if you've been a bit of a prick all your life!! You meet St Peter at the gate and he's like ''ok then so why should you get in'' and you can reply ''well I've just saved someones life'', and Peter says ''ok please come in''! That puts you ahead of than say... the pope!

Anyways that is my week. An exciting one to say the least. Hopefully I'll be in a better state and more stable possition for my next post. My parents are out next week, apparantly my dad's already out buying cow boy hats to fit in, I don't know where he thinks i've moved to. Texas maybe? Ah parents eh? bless em.

Take care my blessed readers, and remember, give up your organs TODAY! ok maybe not today, but at least sign up ready to hand them over when you do decide to pop your clogs. I should surely have my seat in heaven reserved for saving several lives through this post *nods*

Night all!!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Twilight and plays about Aids!!

Well since we last spoke, my dear friend Sandra, another Brit (from Sheffield… don’t mock) turned the grand age of 21, and for the second time, became legal to drink alcoholic beverages. After buying her many illegal beverages I thought I better ought to buy her er’ first legal one! We spent the day drinking in an arcade bar world called Game Works. To sum up… its awesome! Sandra broke a simulator. One drink and she causes havock! On Friday we went to see Rent the Musical on Chicago’s Broadway. It was absolutely fantastic. I don’t know why a musical focussed on people dieing of aids made me so happy, but it did.

Really coming along with the Twilight book, only had it a couple of days and I’m nearly finished and ready to get the next one! I want my own Edward Cullen, I’m even willing to move to Seattle in search of one, I would move to Forks, but lets face it if I’m gonna live somewhere which rains all the time, I’d rather live in the city and have days out to Forks. Maybe I can live in Fraiser Craine’s building, he had a nice view. Is it worrying I live in a world of vampire and sitcom fiction?? However I found out in chapter 14 that Edward Cullen is actually originally from Chicago, so there is hope people!

I’ve also fallen in love with full chickens from Dominiks supermarket. The trick is to turn up just on time as they’re reducing them at the end of the night, usually when I’m finishing work. They also sell off cheap large lemon cakes. Rob mentions that my binge eating and love of twilight is turning me into an American teenager girl, which I think is a bit harsh. But I still have my ipod which is manly. Much like chandler’s boat in his bubble bath in friends. It makes it acceptable. However I’m getting worried, as I write this I have just eaten an entire chicken and I’m STILL hungry. Might go and get another lemon cake.

I had some fantastic news the other day. My very good friend Rachael Dunderdale (now Mrs, oh yes), is due to have a little girl in August, who which will become my goddaughter once we Christen her and wash away all her sins. Exactly how many sins can a baby commit in the first months of being born? I suppose letting one loose into your nappy and expecting others to clean up could be conceived as a sin; if I was to do the same thing now it wouldn’t be appreciated. Anyways this little baby girl will also be my accomplice to take over the world! I’m investing in the army of Dunderdale women, recruiting them to create world peace, and when everyone lets their guard down, invade them and take over mwahaha. Anyway. To sum up…. Congratulations Rachael and Mike :) If she’s anything like her sister she’ll be absolutely adorable :)

The Leeds Festival line up was announced this week and wow, this has to be the worst in years. I would be very tempted to go on the Saturday only to see Radiohead but Arctic Monkeys and Kings of Leon. Don’t get me wrong I love the Leon, with their beautifully hairy faces and sweet sounding music they should be at Leeds Festival, but headlining? They should have been a nice afternoon band which I could have enjoyed sitting in the sun in a field with a sweet and sour chicken curry from one of the infamous vendors which will probably give me food poisoning the next day, which isn’t pleasant I tell you in those infamous toilets. One can get hepatitis just entering those shit holes.

You can tell the economy is hitting us this year though, even students and festival lovers. Since when did anyone ever go to Leeds for the bands, no one cared that the last 3 years of leeds that the bands were rubbish? maybe people would rather just get drunk in a random field and not spend £150 these days with this financial crisis? and if they are wanting to spend that money its got to be on something good. V Festival it is for me, and its mainly for the company and booze, but snow patrol will be a winner!

Talking of the economy. I’m bloody sick of hearing about it! Every meeting, every news cast and every bloody second I have to hear about it. I’ve had enough of it. We’re not in poverty. You don’t see those Africans moaning because they can’t stay in the full service hotels on the way back from collecting their buckets of water 5 miles away from their mud huts! Oh no. But at the same time I don’t appreciate our MPs being allowed 2 houses, extra cars and fine hotel suites, as well as multiple porn movies for their husbands to get their jollies courtesy of our tax money either. Not that I pay tax, but still.

I’ve also purchased tickets to see Bryan Adams in May, and Elton John and Billy Joel in July who will be performing at Wrigley Field Stadium here in Chicago. That, along with Michael Jackson, V Fest and Pink isn’t a bad year of concerts!

Anthony Murrell was buried on Friday, my thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends and sorry I couldn’t attend, but I know the church will be overflowing anyway with the many people who knew and loved him. Wherever Anthony is now, I hope he’s happy and at peace at last. Jade Goody was buried this morning, and my thoughts also go out to those who knew our Princess of Essex!

The weather is really warming up here, besides one last snow fall the other day which melted quickly but still made me slip on my arse! We’re having some beautiful Chicago days and hope it warms up for when the parentals come because they don’t do cold. People here think England is just as cold, but I’ve never been anywhere like this. It’s brutal. It hurts. Your skin BLEEDS. News reports say that people have lost fingers in Chicago winters! Scary.

I’ve officially been single for an entire year now, besides various dates and seeing a couple of people. The last year has gone scarily fast, but the first time in my life, I’m incredibly happy to be single! The weird thing is I’ve not even met a single person in the last year who I’ve even considered a relationship with and soon as people have upped and left or I’ve left them, I’ve shrugged my shoulders and not given a second thought. I’ve put up some emotional block. Something like the iron curtain, accept I quite like Western Europe and have no desire to cut it out; don’t think there will be any celebrations or Bryan Adams and David Hasselhoff performing when some strange hairy fiend of a boy manages to break the block down, but that would be awesome!! Notes to self.

Well that is it for now, going to go and rest after this crazy weekend and weird shifts. Back to the norm this week though! 13 days until my parents land on American soil to see me!!! maybe they'll be on the same flight as Obama and Whoopi Goldberg as they return! I wonder who I'd prefer to sit next to.... probably Whoopi Goldberg because she's funny, and Obama doesn't have much of a sense of humour, as much as he thinks he does. Can I get my visa revoked for this? I'm not anti-Obama by the way. I'm all about the 'boma! dont like that Mccain fella, you could actually see him decomposing during those speaches.

In the mean time, Chiow!