Sunday, October 23, 2011

Nostalgia of my American Dream

When leaving America after spending a year living and working there, I never felt saddened that I was leaving. I loved my friends there and I would surely miss them, but I was so excited to see all my friends back home that it overshadowed the life I was leaving behind. This is not to say I had a bad time out there, I had the most amazing year with the most amazing people and in some ways I felt my life was better out there. I lived like a king, I ate out at the best restaurants every day, lived in a massive house and my bills were hilariously little cost. Back here I can barely stretch to a Boots Meal Deal on a daily basis!

Since returning to England I've looked over my photos many times and wanted to go and visit and see my friends, but never once did I cry or feel saddened that I was here in England and not there. I suppose in a way my photographs were of events and holidays over there, which like any holiday can be looked back on with joy but not saddened that we are no longer there.

But then a few weeks back, I was looking through a suitcase. I opened a pocket that I hadn't opened in 2 years. There I found a bank statement from Chase, my bank account provider over in Chicago. It showed a month of my life, the places I would eat out everyday, a trip down to Chicago, the different activities that I would get up to on the daily basis whether that was just a trip to Starbucks in Woodfield Mall or hanging out in Hot Topic. I suddenly burst into tears. It was so strange that a bank statement could cause such emotion, which a photograph couldn't. I think with the photograph, like earlier, is more like capturing an event or a holiday; we don't take photos of our daily lives of walking to work. But with a bank statement, it made me remember the life I had out there, the daily routine and the comfortableness of my daily life.

I am so happy to be here in England, but part of me wishes I could just live just a week or two back within my old routine. A visit back there for a holiday is indeed needed one day , although no doubt much of what I remember will have changed. My closest of friends have moved away from the town I lived in and the employees of the hotel I worked have all moved on too. But just to walk along memory lane and see the sites and go to the shops would be amazing to see and to recapture the American Dream that I was once a part of.

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