Thursday, December 15, 2011

a personal note after an emotional week

I am not going to advertise this on Facebook or Twitter but if you manage to find it then you will have come across something very personal and one of the saddest weeks of my adult life. On Tuesday evening I found out that two incredibly close friends of mine are HIV positive. I will never mention names, as it is not my place to; this a mere week in my shoes as their friend.

Devastated is the only word I can think of to sum up what I’ve been feeling. I was shocked, horrified and in fear for their welfare. In the past I have dealt with people having cancer and all sorts of illnesses, but this I have no idea how to handle because I have never come across it before. I am not belittling other illnesses, I merely want to express that I understand those illnesses and therefore feel I can cope with them, but this has been something else.

I’ve felt sick, tired, saddened and in a way quite mournful over the fact that my friends have an incurable disease. This isn’t even my body. I cannot imagine what the last few months have been like for my dear friends. My heart bleeds when I think of the day they found out or how they’ve managed to tell other people when there is so much stigma out there.

Knowledge is power and that is the only thing that has got me through this week. Knowing how good the drugs are to keep sufferers alive and healthy gives me a great peace of mind. If they are reading this (or if anyone who is positive is reading) my heart goes out to you and I’ll think of you everyday. To my two in particular friends, I love you both so very much and hope you remain happy and healthy for a very very long time.

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